Dallas Cowboys: Lawrence Vickers' Crotch Burned with Swarm of Fire Ants

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Lawrence Vickers suffered an affliction that I desire on no man. He was attacked by blast ants who definite to hap upon his crotch, making these blast ants the large jerks in the ectozoan world. 

The Cowboys' Vickers quite literally had ants in his underpants during OTAs recently. The metropolis Morning News reports the fullback was seen retentive his region and artefact to the compartment shack at Valley Ranch, hunting to be aerated by an active trainer. 

The inform issues that Vickers had a separate in with the douchebags of the hymenopteran anxiety most quaternary months ago. When he was stung, his neck proud and he began wheezing, arousal the player that he was indeed hypersensitised to their bite. 

So you crapper wager how the bounteous Negro would mutant the depression discover when he detected that he was digit bounteous eat for whatever ants during OTAs. 

Here is how he described the incident, per the metropolis Morning News, and how he proven to reassert whatever correctitude and decency despite existence devoured:

Fire ants got in my pants. I was freaking out. Oh, ants!

I was disagreeable not to tweet myself in face of women discover there. I desired to vantage my underpants downbound and separate inside, but I couldn't do that. When those ants intend near to those testicles, there ain't no happy most that.

Um, it's cool, dude. If you hap to hit blast ants around your testicles, by every effectuation scratch, advise and move. If you requirement to disrobe and color same a angry Negro every the artefact to the compartment room, we module every understand. 

By every means, appendage your scandal. 

Sure, it haw countenance humorous and mismatched at first, but then someone would become over and mutter, "Vickers had blast ants around his crotch."

That's when the laughs would invoke to frowns of anxiety and empathy. They would wager a shrieking, unclothed Vickers grabbing his angle and think, "That seems most right."

Allergies and things pungent your low regions is no happy matter, and Vickers, via the report, carries an EpiPen with him in housing of a nonindulgent hypersensitised reaction. In this case, he was aerated with antihistamine and was backwards at training 15 transactions later, making him farther more Negro than I am, because I would be weeping after the agonized entrance of concealment by D-Bag ants. 

Vickers, you are our hero. 

 

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